Page From My Practice #01

From Worthless to Priceless: Unveiling Personal Myths for Inner Freedom

I grew up in the nineties as the youngest of five children. We weren’t necessarily poor, though I do remember my mom consistently budgeting while my father talked of bills and missed payments. Back then a relatively inexpensive and easy way to entertain five kids was to go on a drive, normally which we’d take on Sundays. We would go anywhere and everywhere. I remember sitting in the back seat, staring out the window in awe looking at the small towns we drove through, the beautiful scenery, watching people walk by and imagining their stories.

One of my favorite destinations was small beach towns where we would often stop to visit the ocean.

Ever since I was a small child, I have stopped to pick up rocks I found on the ground. I would bring them close to inspect their intricacies, hold them in my palm to see if I would resonate with their frequencies, those that did would end up coming home with me in my pocket. I have this one distinct memory walking along the beach with my father on one of those Sunday drives. I was young, giggling while running away from the sea as the waves lapped the sand before me. I would stop every few feet to look at the patches of rocks to see if there were any that called to me.

I remember seeing this jet-black stone, as I picked it up, I was surprised at its weightlessness. I held it close to my careful gaze, and slowly rotated it from side to side. As I did, I noticed these iridescent flashes, vibrant rainbow colors and gasped at its’ beauty. Tugging on my father’s shirt, I outstretched my arm, the black stone balanced in my small palm and asked what it was. I wanted to know the name of this beautiful stone. He picked it up, took a quick glance and said, “Oh, that’s coal…. it’s worthless.” With that said, he tossed it aside and tugged me along to continue splashing in the waves.

As years went on, I would periodically find lumps of coal along the beach, flashing their rainbows at me while resting on the sand. I’d still note their beauty but leave them where they lay. It wasn’t until recently that I saw a post on social media where a woman was asking for help identifying this beautiful jet-black stone which she described as weightless. She captured the photos of the rainbow flashes commenting on how beautiful it was. Seeing this post and reading it had me reminiscing on those early memories and caused me to reflect.

As a child it is so easy to be influenced by those around you. We are still learning what it is to be human, how to navigate though the world and our place in it. Because of our naivety we end up compiling the comments others tell us to be true. We start gathering these myths that resonate with us both good and bad, tucking them away in our brains. These beliefs begin to build our identities.

Now that I find myself in a place where I am safe from the past traumas I have been through. Spirit has been gently guiding me to revisit these old memories and do some intense shadow work. Going back to my inner child and discovering the narrative I created based on the “truths” gathered that built my belief system. And I am not unique in this ideology of having a personal myth. We each have one, even the person reading these words. Have you ever been told something you don’t necessarily believe, but end up accepting it as truth? Who fed you these words? Has anyone told you something you loved and appreciated was worthless?

If so, you’re old enough now. If you are reading this now, you are most likely sipping your morning cup of coffee, nestled on your couch after a long shift, or on a park bench waiting for your bus to arrive. In this moment, right now, you are safe now. You can reflect on these inner beliefs that created the version of yourself that took the time to read this. Find your inner child, sit with them, and thank them for how well they did in getting you here. Let them know you see how these words shaped your thoughts and actions. Most importantly let that dear child know whenever they’re ready they can set these beliefs down.

As for me, the next time I find myself walking along my favorite beach, while the ocean laps my toes. If I stop to comb through a pile of stones and I am lucky enough to find one with that telltale iridescent flash it will be put into my pocket to come home with me. Now I can finally freely appreciate its beauty.